I used to blog all of the time. I loved it. I would use it to show projects I was working on, show various things I found interesting online (or in the world) or just put some of my thoughts out there. Somewhere along the way, I lost the desire. When I was hired by the Atlanta Falcons I thought, 'Man, I'm going to blog every week. How cool would it be to show everyone what it's like to work in the NFL?'. I didn't. When I got to Alabama I said, 'Ok, seriously, this time I'm going to blog as much as I possibly can. I have a son now. I want him to know what I do. I want to have an archive. I want to share with my family that lives long distances from here, what I've accomplished. Show my grandfather what it is that I really do'. Once again, I didn't. I don't know what's happened to me, really. I used to photograph everything. I don't anymore. Not even my son, unless it's with my phone. My very expensive camera now just lives in the bag. My photo lighting adaptor broke around 2011. It's still broken. I got a cool notebook from my friend Keely, while I lived in Atlanta. One day I decided that would be a journal that I would fill out and pass on to my son one day, documenting his life as he grew. I filled out the first page, to him...then stopped. Then I went through an entire year at Alabama. I documented rarely, and nothing to really want to show. In the end, my grandfather passed away 2 days after the season ended. It was a great opportunity that I wasted. It's gone and I can never have that back. He is gone as well. What's happened to me? Is it work? Am I caught up in the day to day grind that is having a high pressure job? I don't really know. But I know I don't like it. So I'm making a conscious effort to get it back. I need the spark. The photos need to begin again. The journal can be salvaged for Judson, with memories and upkeep. And the blog can be done as well. This post took me 10 minutes. That should never feel like a burden. So I'm sorry.
More to come.